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Positive Discipline - Connection Before Correction

find ways to deal with children's tantrum intense emotions
parenting positive discipline connection before correction

"You cannot pour water into a closed jar."

Have you ever experienced intense emotions, such as anger or sadness, where it feels like being trapped behind a thin glass wall, with fierce internal storms, blocking you from the external environment?

In these moments, you may feel overwhelmed, afraid, confused, fuzzy, and unable to see or hear or think clearly.

When an incident occurs, and a child starts experiencing intense emotions (a tantrum), it is helpful to slow down the child, keep them in the thinking brain as much as possible by acknowledging their emotions, staying connected with the child empathetically, and avoiding feeding or escalating those intense emotions. It's important not to rush into correction or lecturing, as the desired learning outcomes come at a later stage.

In Positive Discipline "connection before correction" emphasizes the power of love over fixing mistakes. Children need to feel that they matter, their feelings are important, and their voices are heard. This requires parents to prioritize people and relationships before addressing events and tasks.

A simple parenting motto is to "treat your children how you would like to be treated as a child." Ask yourself if you would be more likely to learn and listen to someone who is loving and cares about you or someone who merely wants you to admit your mistake and not repeat it.

You may have just found your next direction.


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